deal or no deal?

seriously what's the deal with getting a deal? i'm not sure exactly but it is definitely a BIG deal...let's face it, we all love a deal... and love is not nearly a strong enough word for most of us...

because of that i realize what i'm about to try to do is as improbable as asking that nobody exchange gifts and that we actually celebrate the real meaning of Christmas, or that everyone stop watching the current news networks and demand more inspirational reporting, or that any of my blogs will be readable in less than an hour (except for my mom... very fast reader who routinely devours three to four 400+ page books a week, although if asked she admittedly can only speak in broad strokes of plots and story lines, which means, either she is skipping large segments or has poor retention, either way allowing me to feel totally confident that i can put these last three lines in and have a 90% chance that they sneak by undetected and i will still get a "glad your safe, sounds like you're having a great time" note after she reads this entry.

okay back to my seemly insurmountable feat... attempting to sell (don't you love the irony) you on the idea of not getting the best deal possible when buying something. I know, you can go ahead and say it... "that's crazy talk"... i mean we are a nation that will do anything and everything to get the best deal. Epitimized by the lengths we are willing to go on the friday after thanksgiving when retailers across the country offer incredible savings, sales, and discounts of all kinds on their products. Such a madhouse has this day become that some places open up as early as 5am to handled the throngs of bargain shoppers who have camped out all night, trained all year and are ready to max out every piece of plastic they have as fast as possible. The stores bring in tons of additional staff to accommodate the hairied masses as they devour inventory determined to break last year's buying record no matter what. Walmart alone does well over a billion dollars in sales every year that one day. So, yes, i get what i'm up against... but didn't they say "shoot for the moon and if you miss at least you'll land among the stars"... however "they" obviously don't get how the sky works because the moon is way closer than the stars so if you miss the moon you would have to really really over shoot it, and we're talking by like millions of lightyears... unlikely... or you would fall among the nothingness... which i know doesn't make for as catchy of a cliche but at least it would be astronomically accurate... and of course they could always say "shoot for the stars, and if you miss, maybe, just maybe you'll hit the moon... but really what kind of odds does anyone have of that happening?... the more i think about it, it's a dumb saying no matter how you say it and i'm sorry that i used it... won't happen again.

okay back to "getting the best deal"... i mean it's one thing if we confine this behavior to our country but unfortunately we cannot... and nowhere does it become more prevelent than when we go on our "cultural adventures" to less developed countries. These are countries that we see on the national geographic channel and previously were reserved to being visited only by missionaries, the peace corp., and designer clothing companies (you know "sweatshops"... stay with me). However, over the last several decades what started as urban legend has been confirmed too many times to be ignored by our consumer hungry nation...word is out on the low prices for crafts, textiles, jewelry, and every other product, all made by hand that these countries offer. Turns out that these "less developed" countries are like the day after thanksgiving all year long.

now i've never been a shopper in the states but ever since my first trip to mexico in high school i have been dramatically addicted to bartering, technical term used in 3rd world countries which roughly translates to "shopping for things you totally didn't know that you absolutely couldn't live without including but not limited to the 3 buddhas statue combo that made a play on the hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil usually reserved for the primate family but when I saw it I thought, "spiritual, but not so serious, i've gotta have it".
You see "bartering" is not so much about shopping as it is about a challenge of the wits, a dualing of the minds... an epic battle where instincts are everything and there simply is no room for error. And i've waged battle with the best of them... from the onyx chess set with figures of Mayan gods that i emerged with in mexico, to the spoils of decorative bull whips made from actual bull genitalia that i claimed in Spain... oh there have been duals for ponchos, wall coverings, dresses (they were gifts), keychains, necklaces, masks, carvings, and even a 75 pound foot stool ornately carved in the shape of an elephant (that one was a draw as i forgot about the "getting it home" thing.

anyway, i didn't care what it was, or who was selling it... if they wanted to play, i was in..

"Sir, sir, for you good price?"
(game on) "how much?" i ask
"$fifty-een" (sounded like 15 but i know it must be $50 since the item in question is a 7 piece old forest teak serving bowl set that would easily go for $200-$300 in the states... yes i did my homework... and i travel with the most recent pottery barn catalogue just in case i need to confer on an odd item i haven't commited to memory.)
$50? cockily... "you think i was born yesterday?" (for future reference... this doesn't translate in most languages and makes me seem a little "retarded"....so my opponent softens possibly feeling a bit sorry for me, but then his primal inner capitalist smells blood and he doesn't hesitate to strike.
"No for you sir, very special prices... my first sale... good price...How much you pay? tell me how much?"
lighting like calculations all done in my head...(inner dialogue..."okay, as i said, in the states i would easily pay $200-300 and the guidebook said, divide that number in half (that's the rule...and then my rule (advanced bartering, not for first timers) divide in half again in case i need a little room.
alright $200 (already starting on the low side...i'm merciless) divided by 2 = 100 divided by 2 = $50 (remember this is all being done at lighting speed... not even noticible to the naked eye) and then because i'm feeling fisty, half one more time for good measure... he's never going to know what hit him."
(back to external dialogue, overkill but i'm a perfectionist) "$25... I'll give you $25 (there it is, take it or leave it... slight gleam in my eye, playing it cool hand luke cool... i even show him the $25...i've thrown the bait, now let's see if he takes it.
and he gives me this "I don't understand" and i know what's coming... my family, my kids, blah blah blah, leave it at the door, i'm sure they're great people but this is about business now what's it going to be..."
a little confused look and i know i have him against the ropes... "... okay $25, thank you."
but i'm not done playing with him... i still want to draw him out... is that the best price or is there even more room, so i use it... the secret weapon, the wild card...
"um, i'll have to think about it amigo (means "arch-enemy" in spanish, or is it swedish... anyway they're all "amigo," in every country... it's much to hard to learn "arch-enemy" in every language so they're all cool with "amigo") and i turn to walk away...(cut to slow motion like a terintino movie) ... and just as i'm about to take a step i hear it... "$fifty-een ... sir for you, please good price..."
"sold... from $50 to $15 just like that ... " (although now that i think about it... his word for $50 and $15 were so close... could he...no...)... anyway

over the years i would reglegate myself to only certain amounts of engaging in this activity, so as not to lose to0 many days of any trip collecting "gandors" (real word for men's full length onesies, very stylish and all the rage in Morocco, still waiting for them to hit in the US but they say northern africa is always a couple years ahead of us fashion-wise...and other creations of the locals that became my hunting trophies (read "unwanted gifts" for my friends and family) from my bartering quests.

now this trip has been no different... and in Thailand, Cambodia and now Bali, i have again been confronted by this temptation, and i have to admit i was eager to see if I still had it. And so I got back in the ring, and I don't know what to call it... a revelation, a God-moment, a wake up call, call it an onemonopia if you want, but something has happened and I'm forever changed...

In Asia the merchants come equipped not only with razor sharp tongues but with over-sized calculators...and they are not afraid to use them. So the exchange was altered by the glaring realization of what I was actually being asked to pay in dollars. Turns out that I have spent hours, no days, of my life, bartering, debating, arguing and in some cases getting more than a little pissed off at the idea of being taking advantage of over what turns out to be someone bwt $.75 cents and $1.25. And yes in my defense it seemed like a much bigger deal in the local currency but nothing an oversized calculator wouldn't have remedied. Talk about regret...

I mean really, isn't it enought that we have 10-50x the buying power of these people, just because we happen to be born in the US...

now, i don't mind getting a good deal, I mean sure, i deserve a discount for taking my time to fly half way around the world and cutting out all the middlemen... but somehwer in the process i lost myself and it became an egoic powerplay verses the friendly game and sweet cultural exchange that it was originally intended to be.... so from now on it is an attitude of gratitude for me...gratitude for being extremely weathly by most of the world's standards... gratitude for being able to buy basically whatever i want, whenever i want... gratitude for being born in the richest country the world has ever known...and i promise to enjoy circulating my wealth with those who are less fortunate...from now on!

now, every time i buy something that i would have bartered for in the past i will bless the vendor, his wares, and the price he offers... gladly pay it and be on my way... no telling how much more of the countries i will get to see with all the time i save... yes this is one of those pivotal moments where the old competitive, "i win you lose" me stays behind and the new "win win" me heads out into the world standing for cooperation, collaboration, and fair trade... and i know just the purchase to commemorate the beginning of my new journey...hold on, this will just take a second...
(me) how much for the oversized calculators?
(cutest little Balinese boy you've ever seen)"$30,000 rupiah (roughly $3.00), sir, very good price"
(me) "you've gotta be kinding, the guy over there has a sign for $25,000 rupiah ($2.50)do i look like I was born yesterday?... this is straight up thievery... I'm going to send you to the moon and maybe if i miss you can try your "for you, good price" crap on the stars or whatever you land near." (sad attempt at bringing that one back around but i'm still a little worked up over the $.50 that guy just tried to take me for...)

but don't worry friends and family on my gift list... i will find an honest oversized calculator salesmen before i leave if it takes me every day for the rest of my trip...

j money